Some of The Lads finest work… not! After a large weekend for Diddles, the boys never really got going – however their appearance on Canadian radio station The Peak FM, they are up and about!
Personal Assistant The boys dream up there ambitions to get a PA… keep dreaming lads!
Congratulations To Trav Hats off to Trav who leaves London and a big gap to fill at the North London Lions.
Getting Ahead In Life
Some words of wisdom from Marto (The Life Coach) that “hard work gets you there”.
Technical Issues
The boys are all over the shop today.
Dial-A-Mate
It seems no one wants to answer Diddles & Marto’s calls… clearly they are using the wrong bait?!
Caines Arcade
This 9 year old kid and what he does defines the term “clubby”.
Marto Bought A Lemon (Car)
Fact! Now the spare parts are costing him a fortune.
The Peak FM The Lads were so flabbergasted that someone actually answered their call, they couldn’t speak! And then the “plug” – up and about The Lads!
Call Kim Beazley
… and a new segment is born!
Questions
What’s your hot tip as a hangover cure?
Will someone put their hands up to answer the phone… the boys are having no luck here!?
As the boys put together an episode of clubby OR not whilst Marto drives to Captains Cove, little did he know but the Copper on his bike was watching and stitches Marto up with $167 CAD fine!
Cops On Bikes Marto gets stitched up by talking on the “cell” phone whilst recording this episode!
Hunger Games Marto is genuinely disappointed in the movie and suggests Diddles sees Battle Royal instead.
Malta
The lads relive Diddles time in Malta and reminise on Il Horza which is well worth a visit. From HSBC banks to churches, too much gel in the blokes hair and more.
Sport Talk
The lads discuss NHL finals, UFC, AFL, the Grand National and more.
Questions
Was that Cop a flog?
Do you disagree with Marto’s rating of the Hunger Games?
Is it ok for Mum’s to listen to their sons Podcast?
Marto starts with some sad news but with his “positive voice” he’s sure everyone will get through and ends up choosing Virgin for his phone plan to call Emily for free.
Go Solo Diddles Marto urges Diddles to get off his backside and record a solo episode!
The Cold Hard Truth Emily fronts Marto in the car and asks “is clubby OR not meant to be funny”?
Hunger Games Marto still hasn’t seen it.. neither has Diddles despite what Marto may say. But apparently they are “going to see it”.
Tuning Out Marto has been known to turn his attention elsewhere in his day.
Dawson Leary Physically has a massive head that’s shaped like a “white jelly bean”! The lads reminisce about Tuesday nights watching Dawsons Creek.
4 Foot Tall A milestone Marto reached in high school followed by his first pube 2 years later which he still holds on to this day.
Coffee Wow.. what a topic to introduce. Anxiety, milling around the coffee machine, filling the bladder, Nescafé if you’re a trady.
Then Diddles (or Colin as he’s referred to) interviews Marto for a job at “Coffee 4 You”… would you give him a job?
Legoman Haircut Check out the photo of Marto in the gallery.
Driving & Podcasting? How does that work… Marto gives it a whirl first hand. Part 1 goes ok but part 2 dealing with the traffic leaves a little to be desired.
Marto’s Week
Monday to Wednesday – Work as normal.
Thursday & Friday – How to repair service and install toilet systems course?!
Friday arvo – Marto drops Emily off at IKEA whilst he went to work… turns out she spent more hours there (5) than she is getting at work.
Folding Jocks
Marto has ceased his life living and working on yachts, living a luxurie
Dicking Around
Marto didn’t do much Saturday… but did sign up to Spotify and look at Facebook.
Skipping 22 – The Red Bike
Marto purchases a “classic looking bike” for $25, some fancy Japanese number… turns out they don’t make spare tires to fit – saw you coming Marto!
Learning Canadian Is it possible? However, any tips for Marto is greatly appreciated!
Saturday Night
The Vancouver Cougars Membership Night… Marto tests the water with the lads and gets loose with the lads… the Little Man From Bulgaria got blind and doesn’t
Getting On The Piss When You’re Poor
We all do it, some more than others.
Nudity In Change Rooms
Marto has been missing it for the last 5 or so years whilst on yachts. Here we learn first hand what he was confronted with in the change rooms before squash.
Buttsy’s Scrambled Eggs
Apparently they are sensational… we’ll share with you before too long when The Invisible Chef goes live.
Hangover Squash Marto lashed out and cooked Aidan and his Mrs breakfast on Sunday… then off to the squash courts with 8 of the lads.
The rules:
Name is drawn from a hat to find your opponent.
Draw a number out to find out how many beers you have to drink before playing your opponent.
Questions
Can anyone hook Marto up with a 110V converter as his Playstation is running at 240V?
Has anyone seen Marto’s lizard… it’s a Superdry number that he dropped $500 on??
Is it kosher to ask a bloke to move when he is sitting in front of your locker in the Rodney Rude (nude)?
One day a year when we’re allowed to get away with pranks! Whether they be a good gag, a little over the top or everywhere in between. The lads try their hand at one with no success, but address a few others in the meantime.
Some April Fools Day Attempts Marto tries a prank that on one of his Mrs best friends that didn’t go according to plan… that’s what happens “when you’re a bit of a joker”!
A few of the gags the lads researched and addressed are listed below:
Save the date from the <100 red head!
Johnno from Army Camp and his son realising there are no cliffs – Marto battles to get this one out…
Barry roots his best mates Mrs and 22 years later realises it’s his son – badly explained by Diddles.
The lads call one of their Screaming Kicks mates to tell them another mate has “come out” – watch this space.
Phone Gangster An App that rings any phone number and changes the caller ID to help play the perfect prank… let us know in the comments if you have used it and what the result was?!
If you wanted to try it, follow this link.
Sunday Morning Frothies
Marto’s getting older so has quiet weekends these days, hence he is given the all clear to enjoy a nice cold beverage during the episode.
Dennis Commetti
The lads pay homage to the legend of Australian football commentary.
Hunger Games Marto tries to inform us about the latest hit to touch down in cinemas… fact is he hasn’t seen it – not even a preview – rather seen it on the news (check the preview here). Fortunately Emily pulls him up in background and pulls Marto into line.
Movies You Say You’ve Seen And Never Have
Diddles gets his back up about Titanic being relaunched in 3D. After Diddles cuts Marto off, he comes back to the Godfather being #1, Bravehart is up there and Pulp Fiction.
Romcoms
The boys get a bit sentimental whilst Marto runs through some of his favourites including Along Came Polly and Hitch.
Nicco The new star of clubby OR not somehow gets his own segment… and it’s here to stay.
You Can’t Do That
One of Diddles mates performs a Marto on the dance floor with his pants around his ankles!
Pulp Fiction
Marto hasn’t seen it but tries to make a rendition of the song – not even close!
The 30 Minute Fat Burner
The lads encourage you to throw the pump up music… save the Podcast for the gym, hit the fat burner program and listen to the lads belt out an episode of clubby OR not – Marto does!
Look Alikes
Marto for a stick of butter and Diddles for a pie!
Questions
Do you escape bad karma on April Fools Day (before midday of course)?
Have you tried Phone Gangsta?
Does Marto have a tendency to tune out every 30 seconds or so?
Which way should Mum (or Mom) be spelt?
Is Hunger Games anything like Battle Royal (a Japanese movie) as Marto suggests?
Marto listens to his own voice, Diddles laughs at his own jokes – is that kosher?!
Marto’s Crook Again A few cold symptoms and feeling like “death on a stick” didn’t stop Marto from heading to work Monday or cooking his garlic chilli & prawn linguine.
Marto gave the leather pants a cameo and shares his weekend with us in full flight – how riveting!
Small Man Syndrome The little man has it, but only on the footy field. He can’t understand how people have a sheer love for UFC?! What about the golf sound effects for UFC – how does that work?
How To Escape Fines Marto’s Dad got a call from the Sheriff when a number of fines accumulated to over $4k AUD – a similarity to a classic Aussie move by the name of The Castle. Make sure you go an see it if you haven’t… as for Marto’s other
Snowboard Justin looked after Marto with a brand new snowboard and promises to get him the cash… one day?! To be boarding in 45 minutes from door to door has moisten Marto’s whistle.
Halifax, Nova Scotia Where Emily is born and bread… Marto has given it everything to sell it to the listeners. Here is where the scene of Marto’s Fighting The Fat Facebook news appearance takes place. To celebrate Marto went out that night, got quite pissed, then downed two kebabs – what a hypocrite!
If you haven’t seen Marto doing some of his finest work on the news, click here.
A Step Into Marto’s Life Marto gets all deep with wanting to how all listeners around his apartment one day and is getting into some scary TV series we should all know about.
Questions
How many times this episode did Marto mention “Emily”?!
Is eating kebabs the night after going live to national TV about “fighting the fat” probably not a great call?
Can someone witness Marto first hand on the slopes – he can’t be that good… surely?
A ground breaking Podcast where, after 3 massive episodes, Marto welcomes Diddles back to the chair to transform clubby OR not from a solo session to a force not to be reckoned with!
Good Paddock / Heathrow Injection Marto gets stuck into Diddles early about being in a “good paddock” for the last couple of years in the UK… clearly Diddles bearing the brunt of the “Heathrow Injection”.
Fighting The Fat Should Nova Scotia Avoid Wearing Horizontal Stripes? Marto takes fighting obesity to the next level in Nova Scotia, Canada. Check out this link to see Marto on the news – and it’s not #1 news story for East Coast of Canada!
Beers With Mates Diddles brings out the clubbiest thing of all time in his first appearance on clubby OR not for 2012… beers with mates and what comes with it:
Watching footy of any kind.
Listening to a good cover band when 4 of 5 pints deep.
Sledging your Mrs and feeling like a hero – only for everyone else to think you’re a dick head!
Judging Out Of 1,000 The lads introduce their female rating scale which is sure to get a good run throughout the series.
Rhyming Slang Sure to make a big play throughout the life of clubby OR not, rhyming slang such as “left jab” (slab) or the “David Gower” which refers to a shower.
Start singing Phil Collins new remix “Give Me One More David Gower” or the “Holloway Road” jingle.
Marto’s Mrs Emily’s caught interrupting the Podcast half way through by doing the dishes and they then discuss where she fits on the scale (out of 1,000).
Waking Up The Aussies! A great new segment by the lads which looks towards waking their Aussie mates up with some not so good news – purely for s**** and giggles!
Marto’s Internet Connection & Microphone Consistently bragging about his Internet connection and ruining the sound by blowing into the microphone… Marto has a lot to learn.
Marto Gets Star Struck Wee Man from Jackass and Nick Giannopolouos both suffer first hand from Marto’s drunkenness moments.
Leather Jackets Or “Lizards” Are they clubby OR not… tell us in the comments section below.
Arsenal Toilet Paper The rivalry between English Premier League teams are out of control… Diddles and Marto quite can’t understand the hatred with the fans.
Questions
Has Diddles started chewing tobacco?
Does Marto care more about text messaging than doing a clubby OR not episode?
